In 1913 I had a dreadful fever. At this time Our Lord was calling me to Himself but I didn’t take notice of His voice.
Then last year [1914] I got appendicitis, and this made me hear His dear voice that was calling me to make me His spouse later on in Carmel. […]
Every day my pains and illness became worse. On the 8th of December, I felt I was going to die. From that day I remained in bed until I was able to get up after my operation.
It was decided that I had to have the operation. On Monday the 28th they rented a room in Saint Vincent’s. Only God knows what I suffered. It gave me great pain to think of dying outside my home.
On the other hand, I felt such great repugnance to sleeping in beds where other sick people have been…. Thus it is that I felt horrible in going.
On Monday I went by car with my mother and my mamita to the hospital. I was almost dead from fatigue when I arrived at my room in Saint Vincent’s, but then I recovered.
At 5:00 in the morning, I went to Communion. How beautiful that Communion was! I believed it was to be my last.
With all my soul I asked our Lord that he would give me courage and serenity. What would have become of me without the help of Jesus? Oh, my most sweet Jesus, I love You!
Later the nurse came to prepare me. Then the doctors, etc.
After lunch, my nerves were so bad that I didn’t know what was happening to me and I began to cry and laugh. My mother gave me some medicine and I remained very calm. […] I was preparing to die.
Saint Teresa of the Andes
Her intimate spiritual diary
Chapters 8, excerpts
Note: St. Teresa of the Andes had an emergency appendectomy on 28 December 1914, a procedure that entailed great risk. The only anesthetic available at that time was chloroform. Because of the risk involved, Teresa approached the procedure with mixed emotions and faith: great fear, uncontrollable laughter, deep grief, boundless trust, and limitless love.
Griffin, M D & Teresa of the Andes, S 2021, God, The Joy of My Life: A Biography of Saint Teresa of the Andes With the Saint’s Spiritual Diary, ICS Publications, Washington DC.
I can relate. I approached my 1st major surgery confidently, but came around in the recovery room to be greeted by a very shaken surgeon, who said, quote, “We had a hell of a job getting you back!”. In my 20s I had had anaphylaxis when given morphine – what they used then – and came as close as St Teresa to meeting my Maker there and then. There is definitely a Grace of God watching over us at times like these.
Wow! Thanks for sharing your experience… “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is the axiom that comes to mind!