In 1913 I had a dreadful fever. At this time Our Lord was calling me to Himself but I didn’t take notice of His voice.
Then last year  I got appendicitis, and this made me hear His dear voice that was calling me to make me His spouse later on in Carmel. […]
Every day my pains and illness became worse. On the 8th of December, I felt I was going to die. From that day I remained in bed until I was able to get up after my operation.
My mother began a novena to Saint Thérèse of the Child Jesus (the Carmelite)Saint Teresa of the Andes
because I’m very devoted to her.
I became better, but on the 24th my mother forgot to recite the novena at night and the next day [Christmas] I got up feeling much worse. At noon on that day I became so weak they believed I was about to die, but Our Lord wanted to spare me.
Oh, how good God is to me!
Saint Teresa of the Andes
Her intimate spiritual diary
Chapters 7–8, excerpts
Note: St. Teresa of the Andes had an emergency appendectomy on 28 December 1914, a procedure that entailed great risk. The only anesthetic available at that time was chloroform. Her family had to “rent a room” at the hospital. Because of the risk involved, Teresa approached the procedure with mixed emotions and faith: great fear, uncontrollable laughter, deep grief, boundless trust, and limitless love.
Griffin, M D & Teresa of the Andes, S 2021, God, The Joy of My Life: A Biography of Saint Teresa of the Andes With the Saint’s Spiritual Diary, ICS Publications, Washington DC.
I relate only too well. I approach the suffering of my entire life with such feelings. But less perfectly by far. By the way, I have just emailed asking to be given another chance as Aspirant.
Remember that the kernel or heart of St Teresa’s Bookmark isn’t “solo Dios basta”… it’s the 5th line that says only this: “patience”.