My father is quite, quite sick. Yesterday, Sunday, I didn’t know what to do, I absolutely wanted to write to you and tell you to come quickly; my husband preferred that I wait until today. The doctor came on Wednesday and Friday. Every time this poor father wants to sleep, he suffocates; at night, we have to open the windows. Last night, he had never suffered so much and could not stay in bed; we had to put him in his armchair. He is also suffering a lot from anthrax, but he is still weak. Yesterday he told me that it was over, that he was going to die.
Don’t worry, I am always with him, I hardly leave him. I am the one who dresses his wound twice a day. I give him all the best I can think of, but he has no appetite, and when I have to give him something to eat, it is a real ordeal for him and for me. He cannot move or sit up on his bed; my husband is obliged to come and help us and if this continues, it will take two men to lift him. We pity this poor dear father, he endures everything with great patience.
I have worries hanging over my head. The business is picking up again, I am receiving orders in a rush, a big rush. If I miss them, I will lose a lot; I would like to do everything and I don’t know how to do it. I have just received another letter for an order that I have to deliver on the 18th. I don’t know which way to turn, I’ve been on my feet from half past four in the morning until eleven in the evening; my father needs all my time and I don’t have anything else on my mind.
Our dear patient talks about you to everyone; your ears must be ringing. All his talks with Doctor Prevost are about you.
I’m worried about whether I should send for a priest right away, it’s tormenting me. The doctor told me that the illness was not serious, that he sees nothing to worry about except that he is 79 years old, but I find it hard to persuade myself of this; everyone would tell me the opposite and I wouldn’t believe it.
Saint Zélie Guérin Martin
Letter CF 33 to her brother Isidore Guérin
8 June 1868
Translation from the French text is the blogger’s own work product and may not be reproduced without permission.