As one loved so much by Jesus, He could not deny Juana the cross of sicknesses: various sicknesses which brought her to the portals of that death, which she eagerly desired, and from which she was saved as if by a miracle. When she was sick in 1914, the Lord clearly showed Juana her vocation to Carmel. The event is brought out in the following circumstances to which she refers when writing to a religious in whom she had complete confidence:
Being sick at the same time as one of my sisters, the old servant who was taking care of us left me alone to attend to take care of my sister. I felt this very much and was brought to tears.
Then my tear-filled eyes became fixed on a picture of the Sacred Heart, and I heard a very sweet voice which said to me:
“What! I am alone on the altar for your love, and you cannot suffer a moment of solitude?”
From that day on, I began to enjoy being alone and spent entire hours conversing with Jesus who was teaching me how I should suffer and not complain. He showed me holiness, as a goal, and that I would achieve it by making it the greatest possible thing.
He spoke to me of the intimate union which I ought to have with Him, and He showed me that He desired me for Himself and that I would be a Carmelite.
Oh! Mother, you cannot imagine how Jesus was working in my soul. At that time I was not living; it was Jesus who was living in me!
Angelica Teresa of the Blessed Sacrament, O.C.D.
Prioress, Carmel of the Holy Spirit
Los Andes, Chile
Excerpt from the Circular Letter, May 1920
Griffin, M, Teresa de los Andes, S 1991, Testimonies to Blessed Teresa of Jesus of the Andes, translated from the Spanish by Griffin, M, Teresian Charism Press, Washington DC.