Without doubt, I am not distracted, but I cannot finish my brief prayer. I start to say the Our Father and I stop at these two words without being able to continue. I think: “Oh my God, You who are so great and so powerful, You are our Father. You in heaven and we are such small worms, ash, dust on earth! Today we are in this world and maybe tomorrow we are dead. And during this quick time of our existence, we dare to offend you. Oh my God, have mercy on us!” And then I lose myself, and I fall asleep.
Even if I want to say the Hail Mary, I stop at the first words: “I salute you Mary”. And I say to the Blessed Virgin: “You are so good, so good, oh my Mother! You, Mother of God, Mother of all men! And we are but poor sinners!” And I lose myself and I fall asleep. It is impossible to continue.
I really need to confess the fault that I cannot pray!
Saint Mary of Jesus Crucified
Life and Thoughts of Mariam Baouardy (excerpt)
Nota Bene: Carmelite Quotes and the Carmelite Quotes blog have been given exclusive rights to reprint and distribute the English translation of Francesco Zampini’s self-published biography, Life and Thoughts of Mariam Baouardy (2018). We are grateful to the Discalced Carmelite nuns of the Holy Land for extending to us the privilege of publishing and disseminating this excellent study of the life spiritual doctrine of St. Mary of Jesus Crucified, as well as the fine translation from the original Italian text by Cristina Leontini.